“Filled with Feeling but Generally Paralyzed” by Taylor at her dining room table

This is in response to Julia Pileggi’s post yesterday at These Five Minutes

Writing Date: Friday February 2, 2017
Writing Time: 10:44am
Timed Writing: 5 minutes (no edits!)
The quote is a “writing dip” selected from an interview with Miranda July in LENNY letter

They didn’t tell me why they kept us there. I found out later from Christine when she was drinking, but the whole time we were down here, they didn’t tell me. I think I asked. I mean I must have. I wanted to know, but maybe I was too scared to ask.

I tried to pretend the fear didn’t get to me. I didn’t want them to have the satisfaction, you know? I’ve always been really stubborn. One time when I was dating this guy and we moved in together, I got so angry at him I didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as him, but we didn’t have another bedroom or couch even, so I slept on the bean bag chair in the kitchen. I’m not small, so it wasn’t comfortable, trust me. He would never tell me this, but I know he was impressed with my stubbornness. It showed will power to him. He gave me a little more space after that, stopped making light of certain parts of my personality like he used to.

I showed will power down here in this pit too, but it didn’t seem to do much to save me then.